Last year I chose a “THEME” for the year. I saw it somewhere around the blogosphere and thought it was a great idea. I felt the Lord leading me to choose the theme of love. And with all things that the Lord guides me in, it turned out nothing like what I thought it would.
I imagined a year filled with warmth, kindness, time spent with friends and family. Imagine warm chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk, Ah, heavenly. My goal was to really invest in people, not just on a surface “How ya doin’” but really investing. So now I ask myself; “How did that work out for you?”
I have learned some hard lessons this year.
Sometimes people don’t want your investment if it means you know their business. As long as all is going well it is OK, but let’s say things are not going well. This lesson has taught me that now more than ever that I want accountability. If a friend sees something in my life that is not right I hope they would love me enough to point it out, not just pat me on the shoulder. I want to have a soft enough spirit to receive their words.
I have learned that forgiveness and trust are two very different things. You can forgive someone but that doesn’t mean you have to trust them. God has asked me to forgive and that means leaving the past where it is and moving on, but it doesn’t mean that I put myself in the same situation again.
Seasons change and people move in and out of your life. Sometimes by physically moving and other times it is because God needs to remove some branches to make way for new growth. Both ways are painful. I am thankful that God has placed a few key people in my life that are my anchors. I know I can count on them at anytime to be there for me. Some of these people I talk to on a very regular basis and others are more hit and miss but I know without a doubt that they are for me and not against me. They have my best in mind.
It is more difficult to see your child struggle with friendships than it is to go through them yourself.
Just because an investment in people didn’t turn out the way I wanted does not mean I should stop investing and loving. Although some of these lessons shook me, beat me, and really made me ask some difficult questions, they ultimately made my walk stronger. God has called us to love people and that doesn’t always look like a Hallmark movie. Sometimes there is not a neat happy ending and a solution wrapped in a 60 minute timeslot. Sometimes there are consequences that linger for a long time and during that time you start digging through the rubble, hauling out the garbage, repairing what you can, and building from scratch what you cannot.
