Saturday, September 26, 2009

Shopping alone

I went shopping today. Alone. For hours. That hasn't happened in a long time. The closest thing to it was about a year ago when I went with Jamie, Beth and Kelly to Portland. Good times.

I got thinking about blogging while I was trying on clothes at Ross. Standing inches away from the mirror, under florescent lights, viewing myself in all my glory. Not so good times. And I thought to myself 'Self, this would make a great post'. Now I remember why I NEVER EVER try things on at the store. I would rather bring it back than subject myself to that kind of...I don't even know...ugliness. Pasty whiteness that should never be seen in that light or up that close.

I remember when I was in high school there was a coined phrase 'A Perfect Size 10'. It was used by my mother's generation. I was still using odd numbered sizes at that time and a quarter of a 10 at that. Here I am, two decades later, and I am a size 10. Sometime an 8 even if it is a generous label. It doesn't feel so perfect. It feels a little soft in the middle. So what happened?

Hmmm....I think life. One husband. 5 kids. Ministry. And a lazy behind. And you know what, I think I am OK with that. Sure, I would like to be thinner, more toned, and less grey. But it is what it is.

4 comments:

Demara said...

I'd like to be a size 8 even a 10 again...I'm back down to a 12 from 20...but it took me a few years...I'm tired of trying so hard...You're lucky...especially if you don't even need to try!

Wendi said...

At least you don't have the belly like I do. LOL. I have gained a few pounds since we have stopped walking. I have been keeping a log of what I eat during the day (inspired by the biggest loser) and I was amazed at how calories added up fast. I feel like it has made me more aware.
I almost bought one of those thigh masters that suzanne summers sells, does it really work?? Anyhow I knew It would just sit in my closet collecting dust.
Anyhow good for you for getting out alone, we all need some of that from time to time.

Jill said...

Demara, First of all great job with your accomplishment of shedding that much weight. You should be very proud. That is a most difficult thing to do.

Secondly, this post was in no way to make anyone feel better or worse about themselves. I hope it did not come off like that. Everyone is different shape and size. It has taken me many many years not to play the comparison game with my size. It is just not worth it. There will always be someone skinnier and someone larger than me. I am at a place where there are more important issues for me to work on like my marriage, parenting and my spiritual life. I still want and work at being healthy...just not obsessive about it anymore.

Wendi, you are funny. We all have areas that we don't like. I especially don't like my belly either. Bowl full of jelly comes to mind. ;o)

Lori said...

Jill,
You are perfect just the way you are!
Haven't you heard that song????
"....there can never be a more beautiful you."
And my absolute fave song is: "there's no such thing as perfect people....so...be amazed...be changed...by a perfect God."
Thanks for bringing to light the things that we struggle with, we cursed women, and I'm with you...never try things on in the store!!!!
That's just craziness....