My mind has been swirling with thoughts and questions this past week. I have just finished the book Forgotten God by Francis Chan. It was very thought provoking. As I have been contemplating what is means to live a life that is completely Spirit led; what does this Crazy Love life look like lived out in me?
I have also been following the blog Cale's Recovery. This is a sweet couple, husband about to be discharged from the Army, taking a cross-country trip to see family, end up in a car crash and now the husband is in a coma. They had their whole lives before them, still do. They were talking about starting their family. Now everything has changed.
I was thinking about how long until she has to go back to life? Before she starts working again? How long does she wait for him to wake up? But I think I am asking the wrong questions. What if is this IS what God has for her life? What if God wants her to take care of this man forever? Always taking care of him? Even if he never wakes up. Is that too much? Would God ask that of her? I think it just might be in God's character to do so. The Word is full of examples of the Lord asking humans to sacrifice and do what is not in our human plan. Moses, Abraham, Esther, Jonah, Mary, Paul, and of course Jesus (although sacrifice was always Jesus' plan). My point being am I willing to sacrifice? To what extent? Do I have a limit? When do I draw the line and say "not any farther"? Maybe God wants more than I am willing to give? If so, it is my heart that needs to move, not His. I want to be willing to give. To say graciously to God "whatever You desire, I am willing". It is a scary thought, isn't it?
As I think of recent conversations I have had with fellow believers I wonder do I give the best counsel? Often I think of what will cause the least amount of pain or sacrifice, when the reality is what costs us the most usually grows us the most to be like Him. I usually look to the quickest solution, when time really means nothing to God; He is not limited with the clock.
Maybe God wants you to stay in that marriage. Even though you have every right to leave, because you give more glory to God if you stay.
Maybe God wants you to keep that friendship. Even though you have the right to end it, because God wants to share His love through you.
Maybe God wants you to give up that job. Even though you will loose monetarily, He has other plans for you and your family.
Maybe God wants you to stay single. Because you are an amazing example of letting the Lord be your husband and your childrens' Father.
Maybe God wants you to send your kids to public school. Even though you want to keep them sheltered and safe. He wants you or them to shine in that area.
Maybe God wants you to home school your kids. To sacrifice the time and energy now to prepare them for later.
Maybe God wants you to never be financially secure. Because if you didn't need Him to provide, you wouldn't rely on Him at all.
Maybe God wants you to not take that vacation. Because the time and money you spend could go to a different cause.
Maybe God wants you to take in a foster child. Because they need to see the love of a family and ultimately know the love of the Lord.
Maybe God wants you to stay right where you are. Even though the easier thing would be to go. It would cause less pain if you just left your situation and moved on. But the greater glory comes from staying, learning, growing, and relying on God.
I am praying that Cale will come out of his coma and soon. But more so I am praying for Kathleen. That she will continue to be a shining example of sacrifice no matter the cost. That she would be willing to do whatever it is that God wants her to do, sacrifice and all. I look at her example and am amazed.
I am more so praying for myself. That the Lord would put a desire in my heart that I would want His will over mine. What living a Spirit-led life looks like is different for each of us. It is not a one answer fits all deal. But am I willing to seek, find and then follow. That is the real question.