Friday, June 22, 2012


"Comparison is the thief of joy".

 So true.  A theif that I welcome in with unlocked doors and open arms if I am honest with myself. 

Come on in.  Let me get out the measuring stick.  Oops.  See that?  I am just a little short.

How amazing would it be if I just lived my life the way God designed it to be?  Instead I find myself like the Star Bellied Sneeches comparing and counting stars on thars.  Rarely does the comparison thief come in the form of materialism.  Things don't attract me like they used to.  No it is comparing your children against mine.  Your spiritual walk against mine.  Your fulfillment in your job against mine.  Your service against mine.  Your commitment against mine.  The theme is you against me. 

These things ought not be.

Jamie has a written great post. This is a lesson that I have learned before.  Yet, I find myself re-learning it again and again.  God is a unique Creator.  Multifaceted.  Each of us are created uniquely with a unique purpose with unique gifts.  Yet, we look at each others "stars" and let it snatch our joy.  Really, we give it away.  I choose to want your "star" and forget what "stars" are uniquely mine.  I feel that my stars are inadequate or don't count for much. When the truth is your stars are just for you.  Your stars would not "fit" me.  I am the mom God has designed for my children.  I am the wife designed for my husband.  I am the friend designed for you.  It is like trying to fit into someone else's skinny jeans.  Not good.  Yet, I try.  I am joining into the pact with Jamie.  To be the best me and let you be the best you.  To live for the audience of One.

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your hands just as we told you.  So that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependant on anyone.
1 Thessalonians 4:11

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Between the lines

I wrote my first blog post March 2007.  I had children ages 13, 10, 8, 6 and 1. Now our oldest has graduated high school and our youngest has graduated Kindergarten.  I used to think about potty training and braces.  I am still thinking about braces but my thoughts are also about college, careers, and boyfriends/girlfriends.

Blogging has aged too.  It used to be just a place anyone could have a voice on a wide variety of topics. One woman could have lots of opinions on lots of topics. Now it seems you need a niche.  Mommy-Blog. Decorater-Blog. Spiritual-Blog. Coupon-Blog. Green-Blog. Fitness-Blog.  Craft-Blog.  For an average girl like me, it gives me anxiety.  "THEY" say you need a niche.  A target audience.  What would be my niche?  Do I even have something that I am so passionate about that I could go on and on post after post about said topic.  I don't.  And I get tired of myself when I am continually voicing my narrowminded opinions on hot topics.  God is teaching me that I really do not need to share EVERY opinion I have.  Shocking.  I know.  Is it even OK for my target audience to be average girls with various thoughts on various topics?  Is it OK not even to really have an audience?  To not try to gather "followers"?

I have been feeling like maybe I missed my blog-window-of-opportunity.  Feeling that I was not an expert in any topic in any sense.  Feeling like maybe the young Mommy Bloggers had taken over all of the web space.  I even had inferior feelings like they had much more knowledge on just about any given topic than I.  I often wondered 'how did they get so dang smart so early'.  But then I remembered why I started this blog.  It was a way for me to get down a complete thought.  With days filled with babies, tears, reading children's books and doing math problems with my kiddos blogging was a way to think one complete adult thought.  It was a way for me to remain somewhat sane in the mundaness of life.

Most of the bloggers from my early days have moved on.  The ones that have continued I treasure like an old friendship.  The one's that you don't see for years and then can pick right back up.  Others I miss dearly.  I have found new blogs that I enjoy too and that is fun.  New friendships are always fun.

So I am coming to the realization that blogging is like life.  It is a journey.  It is like me.  Changing and evolving.