Monday, July 14, 2008

The Poser

Last week in a moment of impulse I bought a Prevention magazine/book at the check stand. Big promises of 'Drop 10 Pounds Fast', 'Walk off more calories', 'Kick-Start your Metabolism' and 'Loose Fat Everywhere' caught me and I could not resist. Don't judge me. I told you I was struggling with believing lies. ;o)

Last night I was reading/looking in bed at the section on Yoga. This is what the magazine said:

Yoga is a known stress buster, but it is also one of the most effective workouts for fighting stubborn fat stores, especially the ones that crop up after age 40. (Oh no! You mean there are more to come?) ...The following workout will do that while firming up your arms, legs, but and abs. Start now and see results in as little as 3 weeks.
Doesn't that sound just fabulous? 3 weeks to a stress-free skinny me! At least that is what it said to me. Ron leaned over to see what I was reading and gave me look that said 'You can't be thinking about doing that'.

I thought to myself as I looked over the pictures of the poses that it couldn't possibly be that difficult. The models made it look so graceful posing with big smiles on their faces, stretching arms and legs into into long and lean poses that told me it would be so easy. Poses with names like 'Cresent, Willow, and Rocking Boat'. I feel more peaceful already.

After my walk this morning I turned the book to the pages and tried to read the instructions while attempting to pose.

Stand with feet together, toes forward, and arms at sides. Inhale and raise arms overhead, reaching fingertips toward ceiling. Exhale and bend forward from hips, bringing hands to floor (it's okay to bend at the knee). Inhale, and as you exhale, step right leg back into a lunge. Inhale and raise arms overhead; gaze forward. Hold, then return to start and repeat, stepping left leg back.

I am very much a visual learner so this did not go so well. There was only one picture for a pose and each pose had several steps. It was not graceful or stress-free. It also showed me I do not have the balance of a ballerina. More like a Weeble-Wobble. Thank goodness my bedroom door was shut and no one could see me. I didn't care too much for what I saw in the mirror either. Me wobbling and looking more like a crooked old Oak tree than a graceful Willow.

Maybe tomorrow I will try a little Tai-chi?


Carol said...

Jill, you kill me! I could not follow those directions either, I got stressed trying to read them! Hey when you take up kick boxing let me know cuz I want to be just like Sydney on Alias... You know perfect figure, gorgeous face and able to fight ALL the bad guys... Oops, I guess I have some lies myself that I need to work on. =)

Wendi said...

Jill you crack me up. When you told me this morning you were going to do some yoga, in my mind I was thinking wow i'm impressed. Because me being the clutzy one would end up in the emergency room with a thrown out back from trying those crazy poses. Hee Hee.

Tricia said...

That's hilarious! I'm a visual learner too, so the weeble wobble thing just busts me up!!! I was reading a magazine too about having a flat tummy in only 5 steps. Yeah sure!!! I would like to try Pilates because I've heard it's good, but I don't know if I could handle it either. See ya tonight!