Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Unfaithful and wicked

Do you ever feel like there is an endless abundance of the work that God needs to do in your life? Just when you think God has finished a certain work...there is another...right there waiting in the wings...in His perfect timing to begin the process of refining. But sometimes the work that needs to be done comes in clumps. Several things come to the surface all at once, or maybe in a series of revelations.

It was a dry Summer. And I am not talking about the weather. I am referring to several areas in my life, but I want to talk about spiritually today. It was just a dry season. Granted there were a few times of rain, but mainly dry. Parched. Thirsty. My attitude contributed greatly to the lack of rainfall.

So, now it is almost fall and the seasons are changing not only in the climate outside, but inside my heart also. And it has nothing to do with me. God chooses to speak even in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water. Again, it has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with Him and His faithfulness to me, the unfaithful, the fickle, the temperamental, the wicked.

Like Lori, God spoke to me on Sunday. And has continued yesterday and today. I feel the cool breeze of the Spirit. My hubby really spoke to my heart in Sunday night's sermon when he talked about pouring ourselves into our relationship with God and letting everything else fall into place. That if our relationship with God is right, all other relationships and such will naturally fall into place, or at least my heart will be in the right place.

Then Monday morning during my quiet time I read
Despite our extraordinary calling-to experience God's love and to love Him in return-we fill our lives with idols. Given the greatest invitation in the universe, we treat it as an obligation that we might be able to squeeze in around our other interest. Could anything be more ludicrous? The infinate, holy, jealous merciful, mighty, Ancient of Days makes a straight path for us into His heart of passion, and our response is so often to say, "We'll see; I've got some other things I'd like to do, too." The angels must be astonished at the squandering of such an opportunity.
Journey Magazine
Did I just not finish a bible study on No More Idols? Apparently I am just like the children of Israel.

Is it just with me or does God work in themes in your life too? Then later in the day I read from Girl Talk:

If our pastor, whom God has called and gifted to preach, spends many hours studying God’s Word to share it with us, shouldn’t we be humble and diligent to review and apply that truth?
Ouch. Rarely, and I mean really rarely, do I look over my notes from Sunday. In fact I have got in a bad habit of not even taking notes on Sunday morning. Instead going into the service not even expecting God to show up. That my friends is pride, not humility. Thought I would just point that out to you in case you didn't catch it.

So, here I am again. In a place of renewal of my heart. Checking my heart attitude. Not merely going through the motions, but looking and expecting God to show up. Pouring myself into my relationship with Him. And watching as everything else will be just fine, because my heart will rest in Him and Him alone. What continues to amaze me is that God chooses to pursue me, in spite of me. I would have written me off long ago. Voddie says it best...


Carol said...

That was so powerful Jill. I am so delighted that God is working your clay and refining you during this season of your life. Boy that sounded spiritual didn't it? =) I really am happy though...

Ron's sermon really hit me in the heart too, but for a completely different reason. God is working a theme in my life right now as well, although it is different than your theme and God really used Ron's sermon to kick me in the butt so to speak. Basically telling me that he has spoken to me about this for several months now and He is tired of talking and ready for action on my part... I guess I need to give myself another "deadline" so that I will quit digging my heels in and submit.

I am sure glad that you are going through this same type of thing because I would not want to be stubborn all by myself! ;) Notice I said stubborn, which sounds so much nicer than unfaithful and wicked… HA! Thanks for callin it like it is and not sugar coating my disobedience…

Lori said...

wow...I'm speechless....
I will be praying for your continued renewal.
oh, BTW...God is good all the time.
but you already know that.


Leslie said...

Well, that does it. I am a worm nothing but a worm. I missed both Sunday sermons and they were show stoppers. I need some good girlfriends to clue me in.

Jamie @ Purposeful Pursuit said...

You're in a good place Jill..."looking and expecting God to show up". Thanks for sharing your heart, it has been an encouragement for me to check the attitude of my heart as well.

Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...


I could write the exact same post about myself...only your grammar is much better ;)

So well put...isn't the renewal so refreshing after the desert!

mholgate said...

I can totally relate to God working on a "theme" in our lives. My own theme right now is prayer. It keeps coming up over, and over, and over again. I love the way God uses different angles to drive home a point He's trying to make. Then He brings it all together until it finally settles in our heart.

Thank you for sharing your personal struggles Jill. I love to visit your blog. : )