Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Parenting was so much easier when a simple 'no' was enough. No explanations. No reasoning. Just 'no'. 'No' to whatever I didn't want.

"No, I don't like that shirt. No, I don't like those shorts. No, I don't like that band. No, I don't like that color." Of course I was careful how those 'no's' came out, but still the answer was 'no'.

I am finding that our 14 year old has a mind of her own. In that mind she has thoughts, opinions, and preferences. Hmmm...who knew?

We are not experiencing any rebellion or anything like that. She just has different likes and dislikes than mine and her daddy. Music, books, etc.

So God is teaching me to say 'yes'. Yes to her personality. Allowing her to become her own person. The individual that He created her to be. It is scary and at the same time a whole lota fun! She is such a great girl and it really brings a whole new dimension to our relationship. I know that she is just trying to figure out who she wants to be. Somethings are non-negotiable, but there is a whole lot that just doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.
PS-I wanted to post a picture of Emma with the nose ring sticker that she thought was so much fun. ;o)


Lori said...

ya know, that girl of yours is pretty darn special to our family, too.
I love seeing her "come into her own", and I think it's amazing who she is becoming.
She is poised and bright and articulate and goofy and silly and fun.
(I heard her say that she liked DemonHunter....I'm afraid that's my girls' influence...oops!)


Carol said...

I must say, Emma is an amazing, fun kid, not to mention growing to be more like Jesus every day! It is obvious that she is ready to make some decisions on her own and the great thing is she is trustworthy so she can be allowed more freedoms than a teenager that can not be trusted. As Emma continues on toward adulthood I know she will make mistakes but she is blessed to have such a strong foundation at home and you as her parents will continue to model God's love to her through forgiveness and discipline as needed. Thanks for being such a great example to me as a "new" parent. I can't wait to get out of the "No stage" and celebrate more of Gracie's freedoms! I pray that Gracie will be as responsible as Emma is and that I will be able to take her to get nose stickers or whatever. If she chooses to listen to that awful music that Emma likes, I will use my God given authority as a parent and tell her to SHUT THE DOOR! ;)

Sarah said...

She's beautiful, and YAY for you for learning when to say yes...when it's sometimes harder than no :)

Jamie said...

I have always said that it is the condition of my child's heart that is the most important. Did you ever see Jared with some really long hair? As parents we watch the motive of his heart, and as long as his heart is towards God, we have chosen to let some of the outward appearance issues be his choice. It is not always an easy choice to make. Unfortunately not everyone else is looking at your child's heart...sometimes they see the hair, the clothes, the music, the whatever and make judgements based on that. I want my kids to have a real relationship with Jesus, not just be rule followers. And I have found that their tastes don't always agree with their mothers. OK this comment has gone on long enough, I could do a whole post about it. You are doing a great job in the mom department!

Beth said...

Emma is a great girl. I listened to a little bit of Focus on the Family yesterday, and it was about this very subject. It really made me nervous...I have hardly gotten my girls out of toddlerhood and I am already getting nervous about the teen years. I am working hard to lay the ground work. You and Jamie have been great mothering examples for me over the years... I was watching carefully even before I knew that my girls were in God's plans. I think you are doing a good job all the way from toddlers to teens.

Tricia said...

I am glad Delaney can be influenced positively by Emma, and that I can feel at ease and not worry about her being a bad influence. You know we can't say that with all the youth unfortunately. There are some for her to look up to and we are blessed to have them in our lives.

Ginger said...

Keep up the good "Mom" work, Jill. All five of your children are beautiful and special. As a godly mother you are definitely making a difference in their lives and the lives of others.