There is a song on the new Casting Crowns CD that has been permeating in my head for the past week. It is called 'Somewhere in the Middle.
These lyrics in particular have me thinking...
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control
Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle
Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves
Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You'll find me
This is so where I spend much of my time. Striving for complete surrender without losing all control. Those two things cannot happen together.
Reckless abandon but I fight within myself trying to make worldly sense of what God is up to.
Fearless warriors inside a picket fence. I love the picture this paints inside my head. I imagine Braveheart warriors staying behind the safety of a picket fence. Which means they really are not fearless warriors at all.
Will I trade my dreams for His, or am I stuck in the middle? Do you know what middle means to me in this song? Luke warm. Wanting the benefit God offers without the sacrifices He demands.
I wonder if I will ever really learn the lessons God has taught me enough to make it out the door and impact my little part of the world that He has in trusted me to or if I will always be battling Him for control and safety.