Let's try this again

I am hoping that jumping back on the blog wagon is like riding a bicycle. That I can jump back on and take off. I have contemplated starting a new blog with a specific new purpose but decided to just start back up where I am at now.

That is what I have been learning with the Lord. To do what I can with what I have. Enjoy the here and now and not always be looking in the future for an easier or more convienent time. In always looking for something else I am afraid that I have missed a lot of what was intended to bless me. Change me. Mold me. Define me.

So this space will be just that. Simple thoughts from a simple woman trying to live the life that has been given to her.

All things new

It is time for some updating around here. I am hoping that a new blog design will inspire new blog posts.

I have been lurking about the blog-world meeting new people and learning new things. Lots of fun!

In the process of updating it looks like I have lost my bloglist so I will be recreating a new one :)

Is anyone still out there?

I wish I could say "The days go slow and the years go fast" but the days and the year are going equally fast. I have stopped by several times with thoughts I would post and yet have not for a multitude of reasons. This has been a difficult year with lots of learning and stretching on my part. With both good and hard things. I miss the blogs that I used to read. It seems most of them have stopped blogging as well.

I thought I would re-visit my "Fab Forty" list. My 40th birthday has come and gone this past month. I dreaded looking at the list because I really have put very little effort into this. But after looking through my items I have accomplished to do some. Check out my updates in red.

1. Take 1 picture everyday for one month – can’t do 365 but 30 seems do-able. Not even one picture
2. Learn how to take a GOOD picture/be in the pictures. I always shy away from the camera, not wanting to be photographed. I want it documented that I was here! I would have to take some pictures for this to be accomplished :)
3. Print and complete photo collage for my living room. Bought the frame, does that count?
4. Go on a Girls' Weekend Get-Away Probably not going to happen
5. Have a new friend over for lunch Nope, not done it
6. Go with friends out for lunch/dinner. I foresee this in the near future…This I am proud of. I have gone to dinner once a month with my 4 closest friends every month. This is something I truly look forward to each month.
7. Make friendships a priority by giving them time to cultivate. See above
8. Read through the New Testament in a new-for-me-version, I am going to use The Message. I have kept up on this and am proud of the fact I did not give up in March.
9. Try a new vegetable in the garden. Kohlrabi? Cabbage? And then keep up on the garden. Nope, didn't try anything new, but my husband did build a trellis for the peas, does that count?
10. Plant an herb garden and actually use the herbs. Planted one planter of basil that didn't do so well. Doesn't really count as an 'herb garden', more like a pot o'basil.
11. Plant a tree (or two) in my front yard. Yes, planted two flowering pear trees!
12. Make raspberry jam from my own raspberries. I am planning for a bounty of raspberries! Only got about a cup of raspberries from my bushes, better luck next year?
13. Can something: maybe tomatoes, spaghetti sauce, applesauce, or peaches. Nope
14. Learn how to make a piece of jewelry I would be proud to wear, I have an idea and it involves resin. Still just in the thinking stage.
15. Take a friend a meal for no reason. Nope
16. Have a family over for dinner. We have done this several times
17. Send a cards when I see someone needs encouragement. Note to self: have cards on hand. Nope, I don't know if I have even sent one.
18. Go on an overnight trip with Ron. Nope, and probably not going to happen this year.
19. Make Ron’s birthday special (40) May, eh...not so special
20. Make Emma’s birthday special (17) December, yep
21. Make Eli’s birthday special (14) September, semi special
22. Make Eden’s birthday special (13) February, yep
23. Make Eva’s birthday special (9) May yep
24. Make Ella’s birthday special (4) February yep
25. Remember my friends birthdays with a little token, already working on this one. Failed.
26. Take a Community Ed. Class. Maybe cooking, self defense, or couponing ? Maybe next month I hope.
27. Exercise for 30 minutes a day/5 days a week for one month. Just got a stationary bike so excuses about the weather are no more. Ha! LOL!
28. Hike Badger Mt. Again, Ha!
29. Take a picture of the same thing in each of the 4 seasons, again with the camera.
30. Laugh out loud with some good friends. I think this one needs to be done more than once. Thanks to our once a month dinner group this happens often :) As well as my sweet friend Coral :)
31. Read a good fiction book (I never read fiction) Ron bought me Scared for Christmas. Read Scared...great book!
32. Throw a themed dinner party. Not too fancy or involved but lots of fun! Still sounds like it would be fun.
33. Treat myself to a pedicure…hopefully with friends. Didn't happen and now it is time for shoes again. :(
34. Paint a piece of furniture with Jamie. Didn't happen :(
35. Paint Eva and Ella’s bedroom. Yes! Turquoise and Yellow!
36. Paint the girls bathroom a fun color. Hasn't happened.
37. Learn to sew something, maybe a pillow or apron. Nope.
38. Make the flower arrangement that I have been thinking about for 3 YEARS...Not yet...
39. Put a little more effort into my appearance…maybe highlights? Definitely work on keeping my nails manicured. Did get the high lights...nails...not so much
40. Only buy flattering clothes I love to wear. For the most part yes, but I have bought a couple things just because I needed them.

So that makes about 16 of 40 things I have accomplished that I set out to do this year. With just three months left I probably will not accomplish all 40. But hopefully I will accomplish a few more. Who I am is constantly evolving. I am not who I was a year ago and hopefully not who I will be next year when I turn 41. There are things I would like to change, things I would like to do over, and things I would rather not have had to experience at all. But I think that is what makes us who we are...who we are becoming. I am trying to give God all the control of writing the pages of my life and not trying to take the pen from His hand. Easier said than done. I hope to blog more. I miss it and the people I once connected with through it.

What is God's best?

My mind has been swirling with thoughts and questions this past week. I have just finished the book Forgotten God by Francis Chan. It was very thought provoking. As I have been contemplating what is means to live a life that is completely Spirit led; what does this Crazy Love life look like lived out in me?

I have also been following the blog Cale's Recovery. This is a sweet couple, husband about to be discharged from the Army, taking a cross-country trip to see family, end up in a car crash and now the husband is in a coma. They had their whole lives before them, still do. They were talking about starting their family. Now everything has changed.

I was thinking about how long until she has to go back to life? Before she starts working again? How long does she wait for him to wake up? But I think I am asking the wrong questions. What if is this IS what God has for her life? What if God wants her to take care of this man forever? Always taking care of him? Even if he never wakes up. Is that too much? Would God ask that of her? I think it just might be in God's character to do so. The Word is full of examples of the Lord asking humans to sacrifice and do what is not in our human plan. Moses, Abraham, Esther, Jonah, Mary, Paul, and of course Jesus (although sacrifice was always Jesus' plan). My point being am I willing to sacrifice? To what extent? Do I have a limit? When do I draw the line and say "not any farther"? Maybe God wants more than I am willing to give? If so, it is my heart that needs to move, not His. I want to be willing to give. To say graciously to God "whatever You desire, I am willing". It is a scary thought, isn't it?

As I think of recent conversations I have had with fellow believers I wonder do I give the best counsel? Often I think of what will cause the least amount of pain or sacrifice, when the reality is what costs us the most usually grows us the most to be like Him. I usually look to the quickest solution, when time really means nothing to God; He is not limited with the clock.

Maybe God wants you to stay in that marriage. Even though you have every right to leave, because you give more glory to God if you stay.

Maybe God wants you to keep that friendship. Even though you have the right to end it, because God wants to share His love through you.

Maybe God wants you to give up that job. Even though you will loose monetarily, He has other plans for you and your family.

Maybe God wants you to stay single. Because you are an amazing example of letting the Lord be your husband and your childrens' Father.

Maybe God wants you to send your kids to public school. Even though you want to keep them sheltered and safe. He wants you or them to shine in that area.

Maybe God wants you to home school your kids. To sacrifice the time and energy now to prepare them for later.

Maybe God wants you to never be financially secure. Because if you didn't need Him to provide, you wouldn't rely on Him at all.

Maybe God wants you to not take that vacation. Because the time and money you spend could go to a different cause.

Maybe God wants you to take in a foster child. Because they need to see the love of a family and ultimately know the love of the Lord.

Maybe God wants you to stay right where you are. Even though the easier thing would be to go. It would cause less pain if you just left your situation and moved on. But the greater glory comes from staying, learning, growing, and relying on God.

I am praying that Cale will come out of his coma and soon. But more so I am praying for Kathleen. That she will continue to be a shining example of sacrifice no matter the cost. That she would be willing to do whatever it is that God wants her to do, sacrifice and all. I look at her example and am amazed.

I am more so praying for myself. That the Lord would put a desire in my heart that I would want His will over mine. What living a Spirit-led life looks like is different for each of us. It is not a one answer fits all deal. But am I willing to seek, find and then follow. That is the real question.

Happy Easter.

What to wear...or not

The sun has been shining and the weather has been warmer. In this house that means it is time to go through spring/summer clothes and put away winter. I did this last weekend for my two younger daughters. This is a chore that I despise with a passion. I am very thankful for the tubs of clothing that I do not have to buy this season but I really don't like the process. The girls however LOVE it. They loved trying on "new to them" items and showing them off, looking in the mirror and admiring themselves and their new finds.

I also did this for myself. Did I enjoy the process? Not so much.

Where are Clinton and Stacy when I need them?


My friend Beth once told me that she equates name with certain styles. For example, Beth and Jill remind her of khakis and denim. I equate that with sensible and boring. After a look in my closet though I think she may be right. Not much excitement there. No little black dresses, no shimmering or embellished tops, No glitzy jackets. But I do have 5 pairs of khakis, 5 pairs of jeans, one denim shirt, two denim jackets, and 3 denim skirts. Not to mention the several pairs of khaki or denim cropped pants. Or how about 24 t-shirts, all solids, no stripes or patterns. 7 of them are white. I also have about the same number of long sleeved t-shirts. Can you say dull?

This weekend I purchased 2 button down shirts. Exactly the same. Different color. Both solid. They came in gingham prints and floral prints but I chose solid. Predictable? I think so. I tried the print and it just didn't feel right. I was uncomfortable. Weird, I know. My closet kind of looks like a big girl version of granimals. Remember where you just match the animal and the outfit matched? Blue shirt & khaki pants. Pink shirt & jeans. Sometimes I get a little wild and add...who am I kidding? I never veer off the equation.

My sister-in-law always knew just what to wear. She always looked amazing and well put together. Accessories, shoes, purse, the whole thing. I would take my cues from her on what was "fashionable". Not that I followed her lead, I was just a little bit knowledgeable then.

I want to be that woman who wears hip clothing and always looks in style. I would love to be like Beth Moore in the fashion area (as well as others) but that takes time, effort, knowledge and money. I don't have much of any of that. Is it OK to settle for clean and sensible?

What are your thoughts on keeping fashionably current? Do you put effort into it? Or do you hold to the clean and sensible opinion too?

Lack of inspiration

Wow, mid March! As you can see from the lack of posting I have had a lack of inspiration. Life has been super busy which seems to spiral into lack of time, lack of energy, lack of inspiration. Whenever I have thought of something to post about it was not really positive...so I decided I best not. If you can't say anything nice...

I am still reading through Crazy Love and I find myself asking the question "What does this look like lived out in MY life?" I know God is up to something. Trying to teach me, talk to me, direct me. I know that we have had "Crazy Love periods" in our family from time to time but I don't want to live my testimony in the past. I want it to always be present. So I keep asking myself and the Lord what does it look like in the midst of making dinner, grocery shopping, doing laundry, going to church, homeschooling and working part-time? Or is that it? Is this what it looks like? I am not sure. I will keep praying and seeking.

Fabulous Forty update

Like Jamie I can hardly believe that February is over. I heard a quote this weekend that said 'the days go slow and the years go fast' but I think the days are going fast too. I spent much of February just trying to keep up with all that needed to be done. For a girl that likes to be one step ahead it was not fun. March looks to be another very busy month. The calendar is already filling up with dates to remember, meetings to attend, retreats to plan, and deadlines to meet. There is one weekend in the middle of the month the we have a little get-away planned and I am hoping to do a little reflecting on the busyness of life and see if there are some things that should be eliminated for the sake of sanity. When it is all 'good' things that need to be done it is difficult to chose the least of the good.

Here are the things I did manage to get checked off my list in February.
*Make Eden's birthday special. Eden turned 12 and had a friend sleepover. Decorations, invitations, pizza, games, movies. Whew...

*Make Ella's birthday special. Thank goodness Ella turned 4 and a simple little morning tea party with one little friend was enough to make the day special.

*Dinner with girlfriends. We even tried a new restaurant!

*I am continuing to read through the New Testament, but I did fall a few days behind this month. Thank goodness I only have to read a chapter a day so catching up is much more attainable than when I fall behind on reading through the entire Bible.

Here in the Northwest the weather has been wonderful! Sunshine and warmer temperatures make me excited about Spring! I am looking forward to planning my garden this month and starting some yard work.