I have tried this several times.  To start this space again.  Way back, several years ago, I loved blogging.  I met interesting like minded people and it was a way to process what I was learning and how I was growing.  Back then it didn't seem as though I was able to form a complete thought without the process of writing it down.  And then it changed.

I am not sure exactly when or what happened.  But somewhere along the way I became way too self conscious.  I remember going to dinner with a group of friends and one woman made a comment that blogging was narcissistic and it made me question my motives.  Was sharing recipes, crafts and thoughts really just a way to focus on me?

Then there came the time when you had to have a niche.  What kind of blogger was I?  Because apparently you need to have a niche if you are going to be on the internet.  I didn't feel as if I had a specialty or anything of any real value to say.

Add in broken friendships,life challenges, and Pintrest perfection...and I quit.

Too much time wasted on comparison and trying for perfection.  Too much value placed on what others thought.  God is teaching me much about self-grace as well as others-grace.  How much I need Him.  Oh, how I need HIM.

I have a daughter getting married, a son visiting colleges, a daughter struggling to find who she is, another maneuvering through Junior High and one in full blown 8 year old childhood.  This is a new season in life I am starting.  One with chicks in the nest as well as some birds starting to soar.  I want to love my people well.  I want to live a life of grace.  Grace to others and grace to myself.

Thank you Rachel for this very timely and encouraging post on maneuvering change. 

Let's try this again...

It has been a long time.

I want to use space to journal or process through what God is currently teaching me.  Hard lessons.  Perfectionism. Comparison.  Rest.  Grace.  Hypersensitivity.  Criticalness.  People pleasing.

So today.  I start again.  Again.

Weekend Thanksgiving

Gratitude truly is the foremost quality of a believing disciple precisely because gratitude is what births trust...the true belief .  Ann Voskamp

This weekend was lovely.  Pumpkins were carved.  Soup and homemade rolls were made.  And I spent all day Saturday watching Netflix and trying to knock-out this sickness that just keeps hanging on.

I also started a new book that looks wonderful and is already encouraging my heart.

Thankful for...
My husband doing all the Fall yard clean-up while I was down sick
Chai tea
Netflix
Soft Kleenex
Roasted pumpkin seeds
Enamel pots

Gratitude

I have so enjoyed reading some of the 31 days series.  It is so strange to me to read other women's thoughts.  Women who I do not know in my day to day life and have their thoughts echo mine. 

In my life there is little room to hear the hearts of my friends.  The busyness of life squeezes out the time and opportunity for real, deep conversation.  We talk of things like meal plans, schedules, work conflicts, and what is happening in our families.  We lack the time to share the deeper more important matters of the heart that really make a person who she is.  I love to read deeper thoughts of women processing through what God is teaching them.  How they are continuing to grow to be closer to His likeness. 

For nearly 2 years God has been teaching me the discipline of thankfulness.  Gratitude.  Contentment.  This process has been one step forward one step back most of the way.  Occasionally I move 2 or three steps forward only to quickly move 1, 2, 3 or 4 steps backwards. I am glad when I read of Paul who said "In  all circumstances I have LEARNED in whatever state I am, to be content." Phil 4:11.  Paul had to learn and practice this lesson too.  Learning is a process and a journey.  For me, a journey that I am climbing uphill, on rocky terrain, in the rain.  By nature I am a critical spirit.  But praise be to God that He does not leave us the way we are but pleasures in making us more like Himself.  And that my friends, is what this one life we have been given is all about.

Today I am thankful for...
Laughter with my family
A short little outing with my oldest
A full pantry
Menus planned for the month
A day off
Cooler weather and clear blue skies in October
Antibiotics
Coffee in the morning
Chocolate doughnuts

I love fabric on these chairs in my office that I get to look at every day.  They make me smile.

The way the flame on this candle burns.  Just look at it dance...

 

 

 

In my heart I truly believe that real joy comes from being content with my circumstances...my life.  Being OK with where I am today.  Not that God does not want movement or change, but I can be content in His timing and His way of change without taking things into my own hands and forcing my hand. 

 

 

Status Report

The weather has turned colder in these parts and I am glad of it.  I am looking forward to all things Fall!
Cooking:  Looking forward to making this wonderful soup  this weekend.  As well as pulling out the crock pot and finding some inspiration from these girls.

Wearing:  With the colder weather brings sweaters, jeans, and boots!  I have been looking at Pinterest for color combinations of things I already own.  I have found that I am not very creative on my own, but with the help of Pinterest it is possible to say "yes, I can"!

Studying:  I have just started A Woman After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George.  It is a back to basics type study focusing on prayer and priorities.  Two areas that I can always be reminded of and gain perspective on.

Practicing: I am continuing to practice Eucharisteo.  God has been teaching and re-teaching me about thanksgiving, grace and joy.  I find that practicing thanksgiving gives me perspective to see good.  It helps me to live out Phillipians 4:8 in thinking on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy.  When I get my focus off of the things that are bothering me and find something to be thankful for my spirits life.  I am naturally a critical person and can find the negative in just about anything.  That helps no one - especially me.  God says I should think on the positive and HE knows best.   THIS is helping me.  Today's Joy Dare is to find 3 things orange to be thankful for...
*Pumpkins
*Fall flowers
*Little fingers squishing gooey orange paint

31 days of...

October is the month of 31 days. 

Bloggers all over will mark each day with words of wisdom, DIY projects, recipes, inspiration, health, and on and on.
I have participated in the background the past two years.  Reading.  Enjoying. Being inspired.  I look forward to doing the same this year.  As well as participating online too.

This little spot on the web was once such a joy for me.  I enjoyed working through my thoughts, recipes, and parenting dilemmas.  Here I found friendship and camaraderie.  I miss that.

For the month of October I am just going to show up.  We will see what comes out.  I have no idea.  I have no niche and I am an expert at no thing.  I am hoping to rekindle what once such a fun hobby and great way to stay connected with friends.

See you tomorrow...

Counting in July

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The online community is a gift.  What a blessing to connect with amazing women that I would not otherwise have the opportunity. 

I have found this counting gifts is so good for my soul.  It helps me to slow the pace and think about what is actually happening in my life.  To think about what the Lord is doing in and around me.  Without counting the gifts I have seen myself return to my natual tendencies to hurry through and to be critical and negative.  Counting makes me look for the positives and the graces.




Today's dare is to count gifts read.

"Generally you see what you look for in people" Power of a Woman's Words
God has been nudging me in regards to my sharp words and crtitical thoughts towards others.


"Discipline your thoughts to Me" Jesus Calling
My thoughts need to be brought into submission to His thoughts.  In all things - with all people.


"It's a trade.  You give us parts, and we give parts of ourselves to you" Holy Experience
We keep nothing for ourselves.  Giving to others, serving others, ministering to others gives them a piece of me and likewise.  We create as we give to others like a beautiful tapestry of threads.